Bad.chef

Whether you make it, or just buy it, you must have snacks. Here are a couple of recommendations based on years of testing.

German Boy's Green Salad

Many types of mustard work well in this recipe but French mustards are particularly good: Honey Dijon, Pommery whole-grain mustard, and regular Dijon have all been delicious. A mustard with some sweetness is always nice, because this recipe has just a hint of heat for an unexpected kick. Part of a fresh chili pepper, minced, works fine; Italian Calabrian chili peppers preserved in olive oil is exceptional. Red chili pepper flakes like those that come with the pizza during late-night folding parties work as well.

Serves 4.

4 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp freshly ground pepper
2 tsp mustard
2 tsp jam (any type of berry jam), marmelade, or honey
1 garlic clove, peeled and minced fine
1/2 tsp spicy chili paste or 1/4 tsp red chili pepper flakes
1 Tbsp lemon or lime juice

Mix well, crushing jam into mixture with a fork. Taste for seasoning. Whisking rapidly with fork, slowly dribble in 1/2 cup olive oil until emulsified. Toss salad dressing with

1 head of lettuce, rinsed and torn into bite-size pieces
1/2 fennel bulb, washed and sliced
1 red bell pepper, sliced into quarter-inch rings


Seaside Fish Risotto

Serves 6.

After intense folding, the mindless repetitive activity of half an hour of stirring can cleanse the origami palette, so to speak. This dish is really, really excellent with about 10 bottles of Portugese white wine like a Vinho Verde.
Note on preparation: The ingredients in this recipe are not delicately minced but roughly chopped into largish chunks.

Prepare fish stock:

2 quarts water
3 Knorr's fish bouillion cubes
Any extra fish parts from ingedients: shrimp shells, fish bones, etc.
Any extra vegetable parts from preparation: green onion bits, herb stems, etc.

In a medium-sized saucepan, bring water, bouillion, and any extra ingredients to simmer. Keep stock on simmering point.

1/2 bulb (10 cloves) of garlic, peeled and roughly chopped
1/2 cup olive oil
2 cups Arborio risotto rice
1 cup dry white wine
3 tomatoes, diced
1/2 bunch Italian (flat) parsley, chopped
2 Tbsp thyme, chopped
1 onion, peeled and roughly chopped
1 bulb of fennel, roughly chopped (fronds too)
5 green onions, roughly chopped
1 halibut (or other white fish) fillet
1/4 lb. squid tentacles
1/4 lb. shrimp
1/4 lb. scallops
kosher salt to taste

Heat the olive oil and garlic in a wide saucepan over low heat. Cook to slightly, slowly brown the garlic (should take about 20 minutes). During this time, sample the white wine to make sure it's OK. Mix in the rice, giving it a good coating of oil. Cook for 5 minutes until the rice becomes ever so slightly translucent.

Pour a ladleful of hot fish stock into the rice and keep stirring until the stock is absorbed. Then add another ladleful and stir again. Continue doing this until half of the fish stock has been absorbed. At this point, add the tomatoes, herbs, onion, and fennel. Add more stock and stir until absorbed. Add the green onions and fish. Stir, and continue adding remaining stock ladle by ladle and stirring until rice is al dente. You may not need all of the stock, or you may need to add hot water from the kettle. The risotto is ready when the rice is no longer raw but still has some bite. Salt to taste, and serve.


Bester Barbequed Beef Ribs

These delicious grilled short ribs were the specialty of a folding ex. Sparks flew when he leaned over at a party and observed that a friend was actually doing kirigami, not origami. And, at the tender age of eleven in his native South Africa he had created an art class origami diorama titled "Alien Flora and Fauna." Small and large origami boxes with four legs served as adult aliens and baby aliens, perched jauntily on green and red lentils and halved ping-pong balls (the "landscape.")

A long-handled brush for applying the sauce to the grilling meat is recommended, as is re-peppering while grilling. The apricot jam for the sauce should be chunky and cheap (with sugar added) to get the proper caramelization.

Serves 4.

10 large beef short ribs
2 onions, halved and sliced
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 cup apricot jam
1 cups ketchup
2 -4 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
Spices: 1 tsp each basil, thyme, rosemary (dried or fresh)
1 Tbsp freshly ground black pepper

Salt meat liberally with kosher salt and set aside.

In a medium-sized stockpot, add the olive oil and onions. Brown onions over medium heat for 10 minutes. The browner and more caramelized they get, the better, but it doesn't really matter. Add jam, ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, spices, and pepper, and boil briskly for 10 minutes. Sauce should be fairly thick and sticky-looking.

Brown the meat until sizzling brown over medium direct heat, rotating. Once all sides of the ribs are brown, brush barbeque sauce on and keep rotating while brushing on more barbeque sauce. The burny bits will soak up the sauce and get caramelized. Keep rotating and caramelizing, reapplying over blackened sauce, for several coats. Serve hot.Heat the barbeque device.

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